Mark D. Firestone (Firestone Fine Carpentry)

Key West

This guy lives in Key West in a trailer.  The pictures I’ve got looks like a pretty shitty trailer, too.  He has demonstrated time and again that he is simply fascinated with homosexual pornography.  For a long time he had a homosexual teen living in the trailer – I have no idea what that was all about.  What sort of mother let’s THAT happen?  I know, and it only takes a brief bit of investigating to understand her and her motivations.  Keeping a man is hard these days for some females, and I guess they’ll do whatever it takes.  Especially when they can’t find work.

Anyway, this guy is a typical loudmouth, mouth-breathing Internet bully who likes to spam boards and use foul language hiding behind screen names, never his real name, and tries to intimidate people with his favorite foul words.  I guess it makes him feel in control of some aspect of his life.  Poor schmuck.

Honestly, I think the guy is crushing on me.  He won’t leave me alone, he constantly tries to sneak flirty little comments onto my blogs, builds a website on which he constantly talks about me, except of course when I tell him I’d like to meet on any corner in America, at any time, to give him the opportunity to repeat his written attacks (I think he’s really flirting, it seems he’s built that way – he may be fond of hairy man-ass) verbally to my face.  He talks tough, but never picks a time and a place.  Imagine the cowardice involved in that one!  I can’t legally carry.  The guy lives in Florida, where he can open carry.  He has the “No need to retreat” law on his side – if I got out of line under Florida law, he’d be justified in clearing leather on me – and he still won’t pick a time or date to read aloud his own written words.  Cunt.  That’s all I can conclude – the guy’s a cunt.  Maybe he knows the moment he made a move to clear leather I’d take his piece from him.  Maybe he knows that his few moments of embarassment would forever live on YouTube.

I don’t know enough about “Faggotry” as Arctic Parrot calls it, but I think a gay cunt is technically a Bottom. A receiver. A guy who likes to take it.  But I’ll have to leave such matters to people who know much more than do I.  Mark D. Firestone, why don’t you ask Justin about it next time you trade emails – I’m sure he can clarify the details for you.

Really though, Mark, your fascination with me is creepy.  It’s not healthy.  Do you need an intervention?  I hear Florida has places that can help you.  I know what you have to bed down with is downright fugly (yep, got those pictures, too) but is it really so bad as to go homo?  I’m not sure that’s what you are doing, but it sure looks possible.  But don’t worry, Mark – we spend equal time on your female Carol Jane King (Esquire), well, because she is much like you and just can’t help revealing her true value as a human being every time she opens her mouth.  Personally, I think the two of you are great for each other – this way only 2 people are miserable, instead of 4.

Maybe things will get better when that “Fine Carpentry” thing kicks in.  But that takes skillz.  Although, then you have to actually perform, and that is another story funny on several levels.

Hey Carol, why’d you shut down your blog?  Chickenshit much?  It seems strange that people like you and Mark start behaving differently after you’ve been identified.  Once you are no longer hidden behind screen names, you get terrified.

That’s the really fun part to watch.

Anyway, more later.  Be sure to let us know how those mailings work out for you.  Somehow, I really don’t think that all 25,000 residents are as perverse as the two of you, and will remember your names and the filth from your sites for quite a while.

Years.  I’m committed for years of fun!


What kind of mother…


If your son is gay, and you had a boyfriend with a demonstrable fascination with man-on-man pornography, would you let that “man” anywhere near your son?  Worse, would you let that homosexually fascinated man LIVE IN YOUR HOME WITH YOUR SON??!!

Would you consider such a woman to be a good mother?  A danger to her son?

Just curious.

Are we all still having fun!?  I’m in – for years!

This is a question for a wider audience.  Watch your mailboxes!

Hello Key West & Beyond!

Key West

Welcome, Patriots!

Let’s start with a joke: What do you call a three-time loser with a law degree who can’t get a job even at a dildo shop…

Another: If you were a loudmouth tough-guy online with a demonstrated fascination with man-on-man porn, yet when called-out to meet a man on any street corner at any time to discuss your foul mouth, and you refuse, that makes you a…

Answers: Coming soon.  Watch your mailboxes!